Now-a-days I find myself staring into the mirror questioning why I look the way I do. I don’t even remember myself, and that’s not even sometimes. After a while, I realized how many years it’s been since I really looked at myself. Even though I feel like I’m still the same,my craziness explains how jaded I’ve become over the years.
A lot of people don’t get me. They never did and sometimes I fear they never will.
I’m suppose to be skinny, smart, have a great job, have a flawless face, have a cute giggle, smell good, brighten the room when I walk in, have damn fine body with a booty and bring sandwiches for everyone… everything and all of the above plus be better than the next girl… and whats even crazier… I’m suppose to be calm and flirty and give people my full attention.
All of these pre-reqs for acceptance shouldn’t even be an issue anymore. All the stress(more like the trouble) of trying to be everything I never took notice of has changed the way I look. It’s not even a metaphor. My face has changed from the stress of trying to be like everyone else because I’m scared of not being accepted.
But it didn’t matter how hard I tried to be quiet, my awkwardness in me could never be covered.
I don’t even have the “sexy” face to pull off being the accepted awkward either.
I swear, every time I watch the Filipino channel with my mom I just want to punch those girls in the face. I’m suppose to be like those bitches giggle and smiling and all the fake… copying others.
The only other way I can explain how i feel is, “Gaaaahhh, this is some bullshit. What the fuck?!”
But the best thing about a new day is starting over.
Which can bring up the next point to a break-up.
When It comes to a break up, I’ve learned that it’s best not to care what the other person is doing or thinking or pay attention to what everyone is thinking about me or even think about if they even cared. What I know is I should focus on is myself. That person didn’t want to be with me and this gives me an opportunity to starting a new day better than yesterday without being held back by the person who didn’t appreciate me.
Even though i remind myself this every day when I wake-up, I still have those nights where I get upset. I still have those moments where my mind wanders and I feel like I’ll never be good enough because I’m me. But I know that time heals all wounds and I am good enough. I just need to work on being that good enough person that i knew back then.
What do people live for?
Based on a true story of old friend who found their own answer.
When a visually impaired customer accidentally dropped a $20 bill at a Hopkins, Minn., Dairy Queen, 19-year-old employee Joey Trusak was shocked by what happened next.
Casette Tape Portraits by Erika Iris Simmons
My mom passed away two and a half years ago. She used to send my brother and I cards whenever she went away on business trips and she’d sign every one the same way. I got this at Curious Tattoo in College Park, Maryland. Ryan did an amazing job reproducing my mom’s handwriting. I could not be happier with the way this turned out and I am excited to have a piece of her with me at all times.
Channing Tatum on Ellen =D
Swangin Saturdays GRAND FINALE! :: Black & White Affair @ Club Noche 18+ :: GIRLS FREE B4 10:30PM :: $5 ALL NIGHT
Come & party as well as show some love & support for my brother DJ Sir Julius! He’ll be spinning as well as celebrating his birthday =)
Ignition Remix Cover by Meg & Dia